She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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