life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize