WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
