This is the prime rib incident all over again
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
