You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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