Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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