New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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