she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
