you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
