Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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