When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
