Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
