Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize