Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
