i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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