she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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