it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
