Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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