I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
