what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Semen is not good for contacts.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
