i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
