is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
