Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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