She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i will never coherently bang her
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
