My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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