Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
