we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
