everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
