therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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