So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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