did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
