she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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