I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
