Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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