it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
FUCK WHALES
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
