Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
