just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
