she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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