do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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