Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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