my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
