How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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