week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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