New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
