So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
