I'm going to jail i love you
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
BRING THE BAGELS
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
