Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
