Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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