About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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