so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
