i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
