I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize