she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
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