I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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