Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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