Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
