I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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