he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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