wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
