I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Sorry about my life...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
