My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
